dudley_do_ride: The Bawling Thread - 6/22/17 - Female Performer Chat

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Female Performer Chat: The Bawling Thread

Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/11/17 @ 10:40pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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At the time of the dad's nearly drowning, where were his four chi*dren?

Oh he is a father but his k1ds are all grown up. They were miles away doing their jobs.

But the bond between the parent and his offspring never breaks... when the pediatrician gave his customary birthing slap each son and each daughter felt a jolt and some spilled their coffee.

What may surprise you is what they felt when the doctor went *snip snip snip* next...

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Created by: kertzum

7/11/17 @ 10:41pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Oz
Posts: 151

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At the time of the dad's nearly drowning, where were his four chi*dren?

on the beach laughing ...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/11/17 @ 11:21pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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on the beach laughing ...

Oh look the Bawling Thread has bobbed up above that less buoyant one...

*sniff* Pon' mah soul aggaaaaaah agaaaaaah ahhhhhh
It does break mah poor heart aaarrrrrrrrrr arrrrrrrrr arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
to see the hoooooooooooomanity

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/13/17 @ 8:13am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Ohhhhhh noooooooo!!!!!!

A baby zebra has attacked one of the Femme Quadruplets!

*click*

In this picture see the baby zebra. Clearly a baby. Clearly a zebra. He looks so cute but...

*click*

Look at this high school cheerleading squad featuring the Femme Quadruplets. They are all so pretty. And very identical.

*click*

When they left the cheerleading squad that fateful day in 2003, they couldn't imagine that someday Jacline would be attacked by a baby zebra!

*click*

Here is a picture of the baby zebra shortly after birth. He looks pretty innocent right? Well Nature is never innocent. It is k1ll or be k1lled. A struggle of tooth and claw.

*click*

Here is a picture of Jacline that she shot for Playboy. Where are her identical sisters? Don't worry. They are nearby. They always do everything together. Including getting pregnant! And look how buff she is. You'd think she could outrun a baby zebra. Or at least slap him silly.

*click*

Here everybody is on safari. They are out in the day so there is less chance of seeing a predator! Predators usually hunt at night. But they didn't count upon a predatory baby zebra!

*click*
Jacline has left the crowd! Ohhh no! She saw the moody baby zebra off by himself away from the herd and decided to pet it while her sisters take photos. They are always nearby! And always identical!

*click*
Woooow it is really blurry but look at how the zebra is caught mid-frame leaping at her! The crowd gasped. They figured it must be a cheetah in disguise!

Oh where is the baby zebras mother? Oh why is he so moody?

*click*

Here see the baby standing on top of the now unconscious Jacline. Bellowing mightily with a g0re covered maw! Nature in all her glory, untamed and ruthless!

Now the quadruplets aren't so identical. And the baby zebra must be tried as an adult.

*sniff sniff* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I thought I could hold it iiiiii iiii iiiiinnnnnn OMG BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA

But muh muh muh world is in ta aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ta aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaa tters.

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Created by: derek99

7/13/17 @ 12:04pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Living, and stranded on an island in Canada
Posts: 72,073

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Was the baby zebra able to get put back in the zoo, where it should be?

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Created by: Loona

7/13/17 @ 3:15pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Oh Dudley, crazier than ever. I could make some sense few years ago now I feel I'm missing something. I stayed offline for too long. Reality got me. I need to insane more.

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Created by: derek99

7/13/17 @ 4:01pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Living, and stranded on an island in Canada
Posts: 72,073

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Dudley, can be quite something, with what he thinks of. It's to you, too.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/13/17 @ 11:46pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Was the baby zebra able to get put back in the zoo, where it should be?

Yeah but he got solitary... so now he's got tats and has cut a deal with both sides of the racket.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/13/17 @ 11:48pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Oh Dudley, crazier than ever. I could make some sense few years ago now I feel I'm missing something. I stayed offline for too long. Reality got me. I need to insane more.

:drinkup

to insanity sans reality

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Created by: kertzum

7/14/17 @ 2:55am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Oz
Posts: 151

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Insane bl00dy genius!!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/14/17 @ 11:42pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Oh I was just thinking... I shouldn't do it so late... I am all tired and *sniff* what a week but...

I remember... I remember so well...

The first time I saw...

An ellipsis... *sigh* I should have known...

But I didn't of course *sniff*

It was all laid out nicely... the ellipsis...

and, I needn't tell you, *sniff* by an old departed friend.

No she isn't dead or anything. At least I don't think so. She just...
left...
No more ellipses from her... No more wisdom from her braceleted arm

OMG I MISS HER!!!! BAWWWWWWWWWWWWW AHAAAAAAAAAAA HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

And all I have leeeef lef left dammit! *sniff* Is her fucking ellipseses ... or whatever the fuck they are!

AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW GAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/22/17 @ 9:37pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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*drip drip... drip... drip...*

BAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

It was 1186 BC... during the time of... Ramses... the Grate

*drip drip drip*

Civilization was about to collapse...

*drip ploink drip drip *

But here down deep in the grate you'd never know...

Ohhhhhahhhhhh Ramseeees Rameeees the great Grate!!!

Only a few crocs down here.... Nile crocs...

The sea people's are up there... above the grate...

Above Ramsees...

Yeah.

We are here... in this four part series...

To find out why... and how it relates to our time...

Why the civilization above perished... Was it the sea peoples?

Was it the crocs? Famine? Taxes?

Dunno.... We'll see what light penetrates the darkness here... here.. in the Grate of Tears.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/23/17 @ 12:52pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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*plop drip drip *

It is the reassuring sounds... almost like a clock... of civilization feeding the grate.

The iron is not rusted. The tiles below are clean. There is no built up grime to show the sandal prints of the workers... well fed, well protected workers for this is the grate of a great civilization. The measure of which is how the least of its members are treated. Slaves they may be. But for the time that is the norm.

But here things are not as the rest of the world. Natural disaster after natural disaster has rolled over the broader region. Famine. Drought. Earthquakes. No great plague thankfully. But enough chaos to sever trade routes, destroy ruling classes of allies, cause enormous displacements of peoples... enough to bring on a dark age.

This grate is a last refuge... a shining light in the darkness... even as the struggles above grow to be high stakes.

Less water flows. The richness of the sediment is noticeably less. Only the crocs thrive. Grinning with fat bellies as they patrol up and down dank corridors. For this grate is like a flute hole... the long shaft contains many more... but it is the pharaoh of grates. The other grates bow before him.

Some are wider and lack the iron teeth. Allowing the powerful to throw victims to the waiting crocs below. Some have a furnace and blades on top to convert dangerous records to ash. Every army has its special units. Deployed to precisely where needed. So to the vast army of the grates.

You may survive the sands... oh enemy of Egypt... but behave treacherously and the grates may take you.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/23/17 @ 6:14pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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History is viewed through the murky lens of Time... So many mistakes... So many misconceptions...

They said that the largest pyramid on the famous plain was a wonder of the ancient world... How wrong they were... How utterly completely wrong...

For deep under Memphis... crafted from glittering copper and iron... was the true wonder and bulwark of the underground army... The Grate Pyramid.

Beautiful... deadly... swarming with legions of crocks... lit with the torchlights perpetually tended by the priests of Stankhetsohotep... pilgrims continually dodging the snapping jaws of crockish death... underneath its arching tetrahedron of teeth.

nrrrr nrrrr nrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr nrrr nrrr nrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Stankhetsohotep!
When he was a new god...
He never thought he'd see...
People sliding down...
To see the grate king.
Ramsees the Grate!
bump ba bump ba bump ba bump
He's south of Cairo!
Grate of the pharoes.
Ruler of the wonder!
Ramsees the Grate
Now when I die...
I don't want no fancy funeral...
Just dump my ashes down that Grate of Stankhetsohotep!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/25/17 @ 2:47am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Ahnmonanon raised his club threateningly at Ptahgelopep

Ptahgelopep merely laughed and started for the exit because Ahmonanon was covered by the spear of Isocysotek

But Isocysotek was nervously aware that his back was exposed to the dagger of Haktokakocep. And so on and so on for nine layers deep.

It was a standoff.

Ptahgelopep was nearly to the door when he heard: AIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH GARRRRRRRRRRRRR AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGG *fwit fwit fwit fwit slash ring*

"In this kind of situation it only takes one wise guy..." he muttered as he went out.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/25/17 @ 11:18pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Look we could sit here all day and weep our eyes out. We could get lost in the great mystery of the grate.

But at the end of the day the world don't owe us a living. We should be happy for the gifts that we are given and leave the crocs to wallow in their crapulence.

The clock... she is a ticking! The greatest joy is the joy of Duty!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/27/17 @ 10:42pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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So saith Do Ride the Elder at the commencement of the cermonay...

The gentry blubbered in their swill...

The 3rd estate, was in general disarray...

And so cameth Do Ride the Younger to dismiss that aged boday...

Whilst blubbered on the gentry at will

Ow how dreadful ay proceedangs

Weepah weepah manyah tahmes weetha the Mountay

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/28/17 @ 12:21am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Max: When I'm a calling you oooo oooo oooo

Man in Mountie suit: I vill answer ooooooo oooo oooo ooooo

99: Max! It's Siegfried!... and Starker!

Siegfried (in Mountie suit): Well it ain't Janette MacDonald and Nelson Eddie cookie!

Starker: Oh *sob* beeeeeutiful waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

Siegfried: SHHHHHHHHHTARKAIR!!!! THEES EEES KAOS!!!!!!!!! VEEEEEE DO NOT WAAAA WAAAAA WAAAAAAA HIER!!!!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/31/17 @ 11:52pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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They'll never be forgotten...

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Created by: derek99

8/1/17 @ 12:43pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Living, and stranded on an island in Canada
Posts: 72,073

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I remember the movie "This Is Spinal Tap".

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