Heather Russell: Jokes and Other Silliness - 8/7/13 - Female Performer Chat

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Female Performer Chat: Jokes and Other Silliness

Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

2/13/14 @ 2:46pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

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. aren't you glad .

*blue ermin loop� FastLink�'d http://www.flirt4free.com/forums *

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Created by: Emilye

2/23/14 @ 1:08pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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I was asked how people look at lesbians in my country. I answered-mostly in HD quality. I think they expected to hear something another..

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Created by: betenoire

2/24/14 @ 3:54pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: deeply embedded in shadowed glimpse

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au revoir Harold Ramis ..

*blue ermin loop� tribute where it is due http://www.flirt4free.com/forums *

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Created by: timbo-83

3/30/14 @ 3:08pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: an un-special person, in an un-special place
Posts: 431

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I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.' We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'

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Created by: Amber Dawnn

3/30/14 @ 4:15pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Created by: rimbe

4/7/14 @ 6:16pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: at play with the others
Posts: 672

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Micky Rooney September 23, 1920 - April 6, 2014

*blue ermin loop� where good things end http://www.flirt4free.com/forums *

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Created by: suggs

4/8/14 @ 1:40pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Left of centre
Posts: 6,768

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Micky Rooney September 23, 1920 - April 6, 2014

*blue ermin loop� where good things end http://www.flirt4free.com/forums *

As a person he was only 5'2 tall but as an actor everyone in the businees that is Show looked up to him. A true 1 of a kind.

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Created by: agrat.bat.mahlat

4/15/14 @ 9:54am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: in superior upon you

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"Hello pants."

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Created by: .forgottenstrega.

5/6/14 @ 3:06pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: in every wish you make

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Created by: agrat.bat.mahlat

5/6/14 @ 5:05pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: in superior upon you

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Created by: agrat.bat.mahlat

5/7/14 @ 10:57am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: in superior upon you

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Created by: dina_owl

5/24/14 @ 12:44pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: in dark

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Q: Gdzie jest znak zapytania na tej niemieckiej klawiaturze?!
A: Niemcy nie pytaja, Niemcy rozkazuja.

[rough translation:

Where is the question mark on a german keyboard?
Germany doesn't question. Germany commands.

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Created by: Bianca Norwood

5/26/14 @ 8:33pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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A poem...

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I'm a schizophrenic
and so am I.

BLAH HA HA HA!!! One of my all-time favorite jokes!!! (' :guitar

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Created by: Bianca Norwood

5/26/14 @ 8:35pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

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Created by: suggs

6/6/14 @ 1:47pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Left of centre
Posts: 6,768

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One morning three women are golfing on the fourth green when suddenly a guy runs towards them, completely starkers apart from a paper bag over his head. As he passes by the first woman she looks down and says: 'He's certainly not my husband.' The second woman takes a long, lingering look and adds:'Huh, he's not mine either.' The third admits sheepishly: 'Well, I'm not married. But I wouldn't mind a shot with his five iron.'

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Created by: ourjeffie

6/6/14 @ 6:57pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Brisbane Australia, home of the 2032 Olympic Games
Posts: 45,936

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One morning three women are golfing on the fourth green when suddenly a guy runs towards them, completely starkers apart from a paper bag over his head. As he passes by the first woman she looks down and says: 'He's certainly not my husband.' The second woman takes a long, lingering look and adds:'Huh, he's not mine either.' The third woman, who is not married, looks at the man and says: 'He's not even a club member.'

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Created by: brainfart

6/6/14 @ 9:12pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Teacher asks girl, "What comes after 69?".

Girl replies, "You rinse out your mouth and wash off your face!"

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Created by: Clark Daniels

6/14/14 @ 11:47am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Am I allowed to tell a Michael Jackson joke? It may be a little risque but funny as hell...

You know how Micheal Jackson Really Died?.... Food Poisoning.... He ate a five year old weenie.

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Created by: Lady Corina

6/18/14 @ 3:24pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her. They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse... no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says,
I think she choked...

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Created by: suggs

6/18/14 @ 4:07pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Left of centre
Posts: 6,768

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The victim of an awful automobile accident was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital, and the emergency nurse was ordered to prepare the body for the undertaker. Removing his clothes, she discovered that the young man had died with the most massive erection she had ever seen.

Unable to take her eyes off it, she finally yielded to temptation, took off her panties, straddled the stiff and proceeded to enjoy herself.

She was just getting down from the table when a second nurse came in and saw her and promptly reprimanded her for her obscene behavior.

"What's the harm?" shot back the first nurse. "I enjoyed it, and HE surely didn't mind it. Besides, he can't complain and I can't get pregnant. Why don't YOU give it a try too?"

"Oh, I can't possibly," said the second nurse, blushing. "First, he's dead and second, I've got my period. Anyway, listen, the doctor wants you."

And so the first nurse left. The second nurse got to work, but soon found herself terribly excited by this massive hard-on and finally climbed on top of it. Just as she was starting to cum, she was astonished to feel the man climax too!

Looking down and seeing his eyelids starting to flutter, she exclaimed in shock, "I thought you were dead!"

"Lady, I thought I was too," said the man, "until you gave me that bl00d transfusion."

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