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Female Performer Chat: The Bawling Thread

Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/1/17 @ 3:39pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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I remember the movie "This Is Spinal Tap".

Me too. Whenever I watch it I turn up the volume to 20. I used to turn it to 11. But they have more powerful speakers nowadays.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/2/17 @ 10:01am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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*sniff*

Growing old is learning to say... goodbye...

I can barely remember my *choke* first kiss...

I remember her name... *sob* still...

She was my... first... and best... maybe... in a mutant adolescent way... love... yeah... love...

My dog... *groan* oh my dog... *sigh* I still see him on the rug of my mind...

He was a guh guh guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh good dog... I remember his name... his naaaaaayyyyyyyahhhhayyyahhhhaymmmmm.... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My parents *sniff* told me that he was dognapped...

And I believed them... I was suuuuuuuuch a fool...

THEY PUT HIM DOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNN!!!! I KNOW IT NOW... THEY PUT HIM DOWWWWWOWWWWWWWWWOOWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNN OMG!!!!

It took me years. *sob* But I figured it out. And lemme tell you. They won't be putting down anymore doggies. No sir.

Cause I am saying goodbye... *sniff* Goodbye to all my youthful sentiments. Goodbye to love. Goodbye to pain. Well heartache anyway.

I don't own a dog anymore. *whine* I don't own a cat. I don't kiss girls now. Goodbye.

The last chink in my glacial armor is complete. I am entombed in my fortress of solitude. My tears have turned to ice.

Goodbye. I won't even dance on their graves. My former friends. Burned out by their hard living. I am forever young. Because I am a living mummy. Goodbye friends. You left me years ago for your "families" your wives and your ch1ldren. Fuck you. You didn't have time anymore for my jokes, my speeches, my crying jags at midnight. And you sent me your fucking Christmas letters expecting my reply well I am done with you all.

Goodbye... goodbye... all the world filled with selfish not me loving bastards...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/5/17 @ 1:54pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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why do I keep truh truh trying to tell youuuuuu?

You are hoooo hoooo huh huhhhhhhhhhh oh fuck so hoooooopeless.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/5/17 @ 2:24pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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We here at DoRide Industries are pleased to announce our new major philanthropic venture. After examining, with some disgust, the recent history of Mathematics and Physics, we have identified a void that is aching to be filled by competent management.

You all of course have witnessed the transcendent nature of corporate management upon our daily lives. Yet it struck us a great tragedy that the dubious "go it alone" nature of research has persisted in some wings of Physics and Mathematics. We need only to point to the bad outcomes of prominent researchers such as Bolzmann, Godel, and Cantor when faced with troubling challenges to reality.

These pioneers, though correct, and focused upon their problems, became too fascinated and consumed by them. They worried too much about the implications. They allowed their work to destroy their lives. We could also add some prominent names from Philosophy. Who developed systems and then were driven to insanity and destruction by them.

If only this research had been properly managed! First and foremost would be the strict adherence to the 40 hour workweek. Next would be the ownership of the problem and solution by the company. How personally and destructively entwined could any of these personalities have become if only they had realized that their efforts were purely for profit and not in any danger of unraveling the coil upon which this world is wound.

Imagine if the early signs of depression, obsession and mania were reported by their colleagues to their supervisors. A quick training session and they would have been right as rain.

Are your infinities different sized and unbounded? Well good for you. Growth is something we value here at DoRide Industries.

Have you just shown that there are some problems unsolvable by a rational system? And that they can't be predicted in advance? Relax! We have been building slightly irrational systems for years and blaming crashes on bugs introduced by our competitor's infiltrated agents.

Has your god died? We have several virtual ones available in an array of eye pleasing colors!

Remember... don't work harder... work smarter!

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Created by: suggs

8/5/17 @ 3:31pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Left of centre
Posts: 6,768

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/6/17 @ 2:17pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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That's right!

I don't know who the shape shifter is... but he knows you guys

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/8/17 @ 4:03am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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And then came the long procession:

Mourners all... with the tres guitairs from Andalay

Be ye wise... :smoking

and surrounded by the peerage. Or be ye common... and emulating the Dinklage... :drinkup

It figures the same. For the :evil

legion carries off all who tarry too long in this vale...

Whether ye :bowdown

So my council is to not frittwer away the tyme but spend in good measure :jerkoff

for it is as the happy animules do partake of the bounty of this Life and :party

of merry bandits do sup on the feast victuals that have rained down from above...

For it doth raineth every day... yea in some part or plain... yea also it shineth forth in dry Saharan blight ray as well.

So make your :hitit

plain before she grow old and cannot perceive it.

And stray not near the foul legion of :mad

for it is a thread of foolishness that will lead you to perdition.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/12/17 @ 2:04am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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It's... not...

Christmas... yet...

but...

Krampus...

Krampus... is coming...

to put you all...

all of you...

in a snowglobe...

IN HELL!!!!!!!!!

BWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA!!!!!

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Created by: Addison Johns

8/12/17 @ 5:02pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/12/17 @ 11:30pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Oh my Goooooosh , Dudley, you are making us all spill coffee over pans

You are wise to react now... months ahead of time... while the summer sun takes its toll on you.

For in some tales he takes the bad... in some tales he takes the unlucky... in some the unwise... and always the unready.

You may bawl and rend your garments and still he will come. You may beg and plead and still he will come.

Now you have the luxury to mourn those of his slaying. To weep for the evil in us that brings him forth.

Later you will have none. You must learn the rules of the current summoning and react as well you may.

It matters not if he is not in your myth heritage. It matters not if you lock yourself away in your room. For it is your family that is your weakness. It always was. And always will be. They will ferret out curses that have lain dormant for centuries. They will bring out the wrath of the most patient gods.

I can weep for you... in my Fortress of Solitude... but I cannot help you. For these things play out too fast for aid to ever arrive.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/14/17 @ 11:29am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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From "The Making of the Bawling Thread":

Director: Post 51 was always supposed to be about my favorite quote from scripture. I thought it was masterful.

Joe: Really? What was that?

Director: The people or the disciples would do or say something really stupid, just horrible, barbaric too... I mean whaddaya expect they were just normal, flawed, poorly educated people living in a pretty violent time without the benefit of our Enlightenment ideals... So they would have an occasional major lapse in front of the Savior. The next verse after describing it would be simply: "He wept." Beautiful. Clever. And very effective at conveying how bad his followers, sincere as they really were, how horrible they felt at disappointing him.

Joe: Yeah. So what happened? Why no Post 51.

Director: The team just couldn't make it work. We couldn't do it in a way that made it funny while being sad too without invariably offending some group or another. We tried substituting Elvis or Elmo. We had some really inappropriate stuff with Michael Jackson. *sigh* I guess we are showing that even with our modern ideals we still have our basic human flaws.

Joe: Hmmmmm. So you'll be going back to cheap references to modern culture and heavy use of emoticons?

Director: Hey there is no formula for this stuff. Our team is always shooting the creative rapids wherever the river winds man.

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Created by: Addison Johns

8/14/17 @ 8:38pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Created by: firenzdragon

8/15/17 @ 12:46pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: @ WinterFell (Wolfpack)
Posts: 64

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So, for those of us new here. This "bawling thread" is for what??
Seems like a safe place for anarchy.
Fire

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Created by: Denise Doll

8/16/17 @ 1:21am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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loooooooooooooollllllllllll
You are funny

hehehehe
nice guys

)

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/16/17 @ 2:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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So, for those of us new here. This "bawling thread" is for what??
Seems like a safe place for anarchy.
Fire

It is a place where we can go for... release... of our sorrows. Then make great lakes of our tears.

Welcome to the Forums. :drinkup

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/16/17 @ 2:14am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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loooooooooooooollllllllllll
You are funny

hehehehe
nice guys

)

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/16/17 @ 2:18am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Ohh, please Mr. Director, tell us more, tell us more! Can`t you see the choir is shedding tears?

Shed 'em like a Big Foot caught in a sandstorm! (That's a Big Primate joke... just his hair maaam, just his hair.)

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Created by: firenzdragon

8/16/17 @ 2:26am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: @ WinterFell (Wolfpack)
Posts: 64

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It is a place where we can go for... release... of our sorrows. Then make great lakes of our tears.

Welcome to the Forums. :drinkup

OK, OK, so for release of our sorrows. Then we make a great lake of tears, and then drink. That's an alternate form of therapy, yes? Is there a "couch" to lie down on for this "therapy"? HeHe

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/16/17 @ 11:11pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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OK, OK, so for release of our sorrows. Then we make a great lake of tears, and then drink. That's an alternate form of therapy, yes? Is there a "couch" to lie down on for this "therapy"? HeHe

It is not for me to constrain the manner of the healing. If you prefer a couch for some analysis or to slouch back upon for some deep drinking... well what man can deny you this? It is a wondrous world. It may be your good fortune that some sweet lady decides to add to your treatment in a lovely doting way. Or if it suits your dreaming that she scolds you in a mother-in-lawish way.

For my own part... I am in a brooding mood today. I will sit down with Athos and brood over his past. I will have some good stout and scowl at it. We never actually weep during these sessions. It is all too serious and manly. But there is a kind of world weariness and fatalism that is good enough to pass the muster. That poor man... That poor betrayed man...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

8/22/17 @ 12:51am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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We had a total eclipse here today. I was ready.

I observed the event from my carefully constructed Sluthenge observatory. Yes beginning at the commencement of the event, my carefully selected leg troupe bent over to let that tiny space between their thighs serve as a ring of pin hole cameras. Pac man sun shadows began to turn on the slate floor.

A pair of tall leggy chorus girls dressed all over with partially reflective silver leaves began to twirl slowly around to give a modulation to the images.

Bare armed, mini skirted sentries kept watch on their designated sectors and were trained to go "OOOOOOOOOO look over here at that!"

Naked clingers were stationed below to pop out at totality to keep the cool of the darkness and the wind from chilling me by full body hugs.

A gold glazed sun tracker operator was assigned to keep the large screen readout showing the transit, keeping the optics properly calibrated.

A squadron of cricket hazers was detailed to run their vibes simultaneously at totality to freak out the crickets.

Yes it was all image, and motion, but quiet. No blaring music. This was Science.

Over way too quick and too long to come again.

It is clear that will have to send Sluthenge to the stars...

And go... boldly...

To find the most erotic transits in this galaxy...

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